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Ogbalik, they say

“Ogbalik” is a Sudanese word that means ” may the same thing be for you”. It is heard in the context of when a girl gets married, and you are hoped to be the next target of the “joyous” occasion. “Ogbalak” is said to a male, and it not used as often because often times it is the men that are indifferent to marriage, because they are not pressured to bear the burden of participating in such a socially constructed, mystified,mis-identified, ultra- glorified institution, but females are. This is a word that I personally find offensive, because it carries the weight of an expected role to be fulfilled. I cringe when I hear it, and I just hope that people would stop saying it to me. I think it is very disrespectful , and although it may come from good intent, it is effect is quite dangerous on the psyche of Sudanese girls. It is spoken from the heart of preconceived notions of marriage, gender roles, and expectations that a girl may or may not be willing to comply with. This word, is a rose with a bunch of thorns. It disregards my own ideas, my conceived notions on marriage, and it sounds more like a drill sargent asking me to get down and do 1000 push ups.


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